Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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