I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i wish my penis had a tongue
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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