tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
