i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
as a side note pls kill me
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
