I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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