how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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