She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
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I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
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We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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