ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
