no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
