Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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