a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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