If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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