Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
