Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
