Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
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