S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
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But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
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god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
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