We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
