Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
