Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
