why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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