I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize