I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I'm sobbing to NWA
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.