Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
The Most Iconic Met Gala Looks The Kardashian’s Have Rocked
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.