I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up