Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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