Texts From Last Night

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  (702): View more from Nevada

  It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.

  (775): View more from Nevada

  Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????

  (702): View more from Nevada

  God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.

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  (702): It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway. (775): Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ???? (702): God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight. http://tfl.nu/me93
  Replies (14) Good night (562) Bad night (2245)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.

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  (850): OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you. http://tfl.nu/hptp
  Replies (11) Good night (813) Bad night (3447) Order T-Shirt
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow

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  (704): I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow http://tfl.nu/jea1
  Replies (18) Good night (4075) Bad night (929) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard

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  (203): whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard http://tfl.nu/amtb
  Replies (28) Good night (687) Bad night (3826) Order T-Shirt
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.

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  (864): I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe. http://tfl.nu/olye
  Replies (8) Good night (739) Bad night (2329) Order T-Shirt
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  (315): View more from New York

  Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.

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  (315): Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise. http://tfl.nu/jq04
  Replies (8) Good night (4337) Bad night (1333) Order T-Shirt
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.

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  (616): Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this. http://tfl.nu/uew9
  Replies (12) Good night (3749) Bad night (1223) Order T-Shirt
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  (207): View more from Maine

  That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"

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  (207): That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain" http://tfl.nu/84lt
  Replies (3) Good night (1397) Bad night (718)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.

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  (313): No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea. http://tfl.nu/zdpv
  Replies (9) Good night (632) Bad night (1236) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.

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  (303): I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes. http://tfl.nu/g3e8
  Replies (4) Good night (961) Bad night (345) Order T-Shirt
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY

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  (706): WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY http://tfl.nu/3x6y
  Replies (5) Good night (758) Bad night (281) Order T-Shirt
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  (619): View more from California

  THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO

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  (619): THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO http://tfl.nu/tlry
  Replies (6) Good night (352) Bad night (731) Order T-Shirt
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.

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  (614): They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart. http://tfl.nu/irli
  Replies (7) Good night (586) Bad night (370) Order T-Shirt
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS

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  (334): OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS http://tfl.nu/wcsc
  Replies (4) Good night (693) Bad night (139) Order T-Shirt
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  (904): View more from Florida

  Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra

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  (904): Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra http://tfl.nu/1ma3
  Replies (8) Good night (316) Bad night (866) Order T-Shirt

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