If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
