bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
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