I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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