are you so shy because you have an std?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
