Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
