please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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