So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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