I didn't shave. On purpose
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize