yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Dear god my vagina.
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