yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
