Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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