How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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