Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
