I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
