there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
