So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
