youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
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There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
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I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?