THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
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Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
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Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?