I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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