It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
