But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Mom said you looked used
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
