Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
