Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
