are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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