The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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