guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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