Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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