I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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