Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
