You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
you had me at cake vodka
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
