In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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