I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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