Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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